You can still have sex: with condoms, and with responsible sexual behavior that’s less risky (e.g., oral sex or the HIV-positive person acting as the receiver).|Years after the AIDS epidemic, there’s still a pervasive misconception that gay sex is dirty and undoubtedly leads to STDs, which simply isn’t true. What follows are the building blocks of gay male sex, hopefully providing acceptable answers to all your questions about doggy-style, tops, bottoms, and who pays on a date.
Kidding– don’t you dare ask that last one.
Yes, we can perform missionary
And standing. There’s no natural lubricant in the equation here, including saliva. Anal is a bit more complicated and often more painful than vaginal sex. The basic mechanics of gay male sex remain a mystery to many. Oh, and it ought to go without saying, but if you’re HIV-positive, this doesn’t make you dirty or unbeautiful|unbeautiful or dirty. But if the penis is too large, it’s not fitting in the back door.|If the penis is too large, it’s not fitting in the back door. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Literally. Although, poppers– a substance some gay men take to relax muscles to make anal sex easier– can help with that issue.|Poppers– a substance some gay men take to relax muscles to make anal sex easier– can help with that issue.
Safe sex is great sex
An actual sentence someone said to me after I came out was this little gem: “Just don’t get any diseases.”
Years after the AIDS epidemic, there’s still a pervasive misconception that gay sex is dirty and undoubtedly leads to STDs, which simply isn’t true. Helping your partner get the most pleasure out of sex is something we should all strive for, and when both are capable of penetration, it’s even more necessary.
I know you’re wondering, so: A power bottom is a man who both receives the penetration and receives the penetration during sex, taking control of things like speed, depth, and position|speed, position, and depth|depth, speed, and position|depth, position, and speed|position, speed, and depth|position, depth, and speed.
It’s not surprising, considering the lack of gay representation in entertainment and the disturbing void of sex education in schools. Therefore, gay men don’t always have the luxury of getting it on at the drop of a hat.|Gay men don’t always have the luxury of getting it on at the drop of a hat.|Gay sex isn’t Nike: You can’t just do it. And spooning. We can even “flip-flop,” which means you each get a turn penetrating in one or more of these positions.
It might take a little more dexterity to pull them off, but shhh, that’s why all gay men are so jacked.
Lube is a gay man’s best friend
You know the famous scene in Brokeback Mountain where Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger do it in a tent, and Heath simply spits into his hand before slipping it in? NOT HAPPENING.
Think of that move as the opposite of a slip-and-slide. Gay men don’t always have the luxury of getting it on at the drop of a hat.
Penetration isn’t everything
Sometimes penetration isn’t even in the cards. And you should maybe take an extra minute to ensure you’re all clean downstairs.|YOU KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON HERE. Or maybe you just don’t feel like dealing with condoms, lube, and enemas.
That’s totally fine, because extended foreplay, oral sex, rimming, and mutual masturbation are all excellent alternatives. You can still have sex: with condoms, and with responsible sexual behavior that’s less risky (e.g., oral sex or the HIV-positive person acting as the receiver).
We have preferences, like top and bottom|bottom and top
We want to know if our partners are tops, bottoms, power bottoms, or versatile. Helping your partner get the most pleasure out of sex is something we should all strive for, and when both are capable of penetration, it’s even more necessary.|We want to know if our partners are tops, bottoms, power bottoms, or versatile. Today, we even have PrEP: a pill that, taken daily, helps prevent HIV infection. even gay men sometimes.
It’s not surprising, considering the lack of gay representation in entertainment and the disturbing void of sex education in schools. That’s a man’s ass. We can even “flip-flop,” which means you each get a turn penetrating in one or more of these positions.|These aren’t hetero-patented moves, y’ all. You can still have sex: with condoms, and with responsible sexual behavior that’s less risky (e.g., oral sex or the HIV-positive person acting as the receiver). These aren’t just arbitrary labels. And cowgirl. As we all learned from the trenchant children’s book Everybody Poops, everybody poops. They’re less complicated, more spontaneous, and can be just as pleasurable.
Bigger isn’t always better
Sure, a big penis might be nice to stroke or gaze at longingly. What did you eat last night? How clean are you? Is there lube nearby? Anal is a bit more complicated and often more painful than vaginal sex. You just shouldn’t eat, say, a Chipotle burrito with extra guac or a heaping plate of Indian curry right before you have sex. It isn’t an inevitability, but it’s certainly a possibility, and that’s OK. Gay sex isn’t Nike: You can’t just do it. It takes too much time to work up to it and stretch things out. These aren’t hetero-patented moves, y’ all. Ever hear of a “no promo homo” law? It’s a heinous education law that expressly prohibits teachers from discussing LGBT issues– including sexual health, which can lead LGBT youth to feel invisible, anxious, or depressed.
I don’t know about you, but all I got from my health class in Catholic school was a small stick of Old Spice deodorant and the unsettling feeling that Jesus would know when I masturbated.
When a friend blurted out, “You can have sex facing each other?!” after we ‘d finished watching a racy sex scene on HBO’s tragically short-lived series Looking, I knew it was time to take a stand. They help us figure out who’s comfortable doing what– and that, my friend, is sex-positive. Maybe you don’t really enjoy anal, or you have a medical issue like IBS. Store-bought lube is absolutely essential if you want to avoid tearing and general discomfort.
Sometimes it gets, uh, messy
Yes, I’m talking about poop. You just shouldn’t eat, say, a Chipotle burrito with extra guac or a heaping plate of Indian curry right before you have sex. And you should maybe take an extra minute to ensure you’re all clean downstairs.
Some men even use a douche or enema beforehand to clean those hard-to-reach spots. Store-bought lube is absolutely essential if you want to avoid tearing and general discomfort.|If you want to avoid tearing and general discomfort, store-bought lube is absolutely essential.|That’s a man’s ass. As I’ve mentioned, you have to think about things. It might not be super sexy, but it’s better than the alternative.
Spontaneity, who?
Poppers– a substance some gay men take to relax muscles to make anal sex easier– can help with that issue.
Years after the AIDS epidemic, there’s still a pervasive misconception that gay sex is dirty and undoubtedly leads to STDs, which simply isn’t true.